Can I sit there?

October 4, 2010
3:20pm

I had a very interesting experience this past weekend regarding seating arrangement at a movie night with friends. First, a little background information: I just started dating Mike a few weeks ago and he invited me to a movie night at his house with a few friends and one of his roommates, Kevin. When everyone arrived, one guy, Lloyd claimed his seat on the middle of the couch. Kevin and his girlfriend were also on the couch and others were in chairs. Mike brought his computer chair into the room for more seating. At this point, there were enough seat for everyone, but because Lloyd was on the couch, there was only one spot next to him and the one spot in the chair. Mike and I were the only two left to sit and when people started to realize that we were not going to be able to sit next to each other, the guys immediately turned to Lloyd and told him he had to move. He was not happy about it, but after a moment, he moved to the chair and Mike and I sat on the couch.

There are a few interesting things going on here. First of all, I was never expected to sit in the chair. Second, even though Lloyd sat down first so he could get the best spot, he was expected to move for me and even though he did not want to move, he did not complain about it. I think it is interesting how even in a day and age where there is a push for equality, there still tends to be gentlemen like tendencies. For example, men hold doors open for women. In the same sense, men give up their seat for women. It was a small act, but to me it was very significant because not only was he expected to give up the seat he claimed ten minutes early, he was expected to do it because he is a man. This really made me experience some of the things Anthony often talks about in class. Gender expectations go both ways and sometimes men get the short end of the stick too.