Final Thoughts

December 14, 2010 5:00pm

As I look back on what I wrote on day one, I can really see my personal growth. On September 1, 2010 I wrote that I hoped to one day work in television. That goal has changed immensely, partly due to this class project and partly due to the overall work I have been doing about Girl Scouts (thesis, independent study, training module). I am really glad that I was able to come to this realization because I feel like now I have a goal to make a difference for an organization that shaped me in to who I am today.

Another thing I look back and am able to reflect on is my relationship with my boyfriend. We met right when school started and started dating a few weeks later. It has since turned into a serious relationship. I often talked about topics from class with him, making it easy to have things to write about in my blog. I realized that this class and this blog has helped me to have a better relationship with him because of the way we have been so open about things. For example, our discussion of gender roles led up to talk about our expectations of the other if we were to move in together or even get married. I think that this type of conversation would deter a lot of men away, but I think that it made our relationship stronger because it opened up doors and implied that there were no taboo topics between us. Overall, this class has been a lot more meaningful for me than I would have ever expected, and I am extremely glad I chose it.

Gender Roles

November 23, 2010
7:00pm

I was talking with my boyfriend about the gender bender assignment and we started to get going about how both of our parents do not follow typical gender roles in the home and therefore we follow them less as well. For example, his dad does all the cooking and his mom does that dishes after dinner. In my household my parents took turns cooking and my siblings and I took turns doing the dishes. Mike came to the conclusion that his parents try things and they do what they are good at regardless of gender roles. For example, his dad does all the tree trimming because he is better at it than his mom. She tried once but had trouble making it even so it was decided that his dad should do that job. I like the idea that both would try something and whoever is best is the one who performs that job. It is sort of how I have it set up now. I live with my brother and he takes out the trash because it is one of my least favorite things to do and I do the dishes because it is his least favorite thing to do. I like the idea that the guy I am currently with is not set by rigid gender roles in the home. Even though we are not at that point in our relationship, it is good to know that if we get to that point that I am not going to be expected to do all the cooking and cleaning while he does all the yard work.

November 10, 2010
7:50 pm

This past weekend I was talking with the camp director about the paper I wrote about calling the campers "guys". I found it interesting that her opinion was almost the exact opposite of mine. She felt that by making a point of calling the campers "girls" or "ladies" we are pointing out that we are different and that this is a small space away from everyone else. She felt that we would be distancing ourselves even further with feminine word choices. Although I disagree with her, it was great to have a lively, intelligent conversation about topics from class outside the classroom. I really felt like I was applying the things I learned in class and was doing my part to make positive changes within my society.

taking back language

October 28, 2010
5:15pm

My boyfriend was telling me last night about how he needs to get a "wife beater" for his halloween costume. I always cringe at the word that is so commonly thrown around for this type of undershirt. It is such an ugly thing to be so comfortable saying. I told him how much I hate the use of that work and he replied "yeah, the actual name for those shirts is A Frame". After talking about language and word use for a little bit, he agreed that we need to rethink they way we use words. I was so inspired by last week's writing assignment and what everyone had read in class that I told him advocacy starts with one person and I want to be that one person who get's him to change his way of thinking about language. I really believe that just changing one person's word choice is a start to taking away this ugly slang for a men's tank top undershirt. I am happy to say I spoke up and changed the mind of one person.

October 24, 2010
6:20pm

I was up at camp this weekend and one of my fellow staff members who I am do not know very well blurted out "my brother married my best friend and now they are getting a divorce and my whole family blames me for setting them up in the first place". All I could think was "wow" and "why are you telling me this?" but instead said "do you want to talk about it?" Her response was "no. I don't know. Well I don't know how to be a girl and so I don't know how to deal with this, so I figure I should talk about it with someone who does know how to be a girl, so that is what I am doing. So yeah, I guess we can talk about it". I was so perplexed by this idea that she did not know how to be a girl. I do not know her very well and I never cared to get to know her because she is a bit too crass for my taste, but in this moment I felt bad for her. I learned she grew up with 3 brothers and an unemotional mother and therefore had not learned the social construction of being a girl. I think it is a very interesting topic and she exemplifies how society constructs what is meant to be a girl.

catching the flowers

October 20, 2010
11:50am

I went to a wedding reception this weekend with my boyfriend as his plus one. I did not know anyone there and I was mostly there to fulfill the ritual of bringing a date to weddings. I was keen to lay low since it was a small event. My boyfriend introduced me to a few people there and I made small talk at the table, and that was all I was really planning on doing. The time came when the bride was about to throw her bouquet into the crowd of ladies who thought that whoever caught it would be the next of the bunch to get married. I did not really want to participate in this ritual for several reasons. I did not care about catching it, I did not want to stand in a crowd of women I did not know, and I was thinking about how awkward it would be if I did catch it. I decided to stay off to the side when the groom caught my eye. I met him for a moment earlier and he was not shy about walking up to me and dragging me onto the dance floor to participate saying "if you are female you have to be up there". I was kind of irritated because I was content just watching, but stood up there anyways to fulfill my duty as a women at a wedding. I did not like that I was pressured into doing something that I did not want to do based simply on my gender. I wanted to resist, but really felt like it was not the time or place to protest, especially when the groom was the one bringing me up there. It was his special day and who was I to deny the one request he made of me the entire day?

a visit with my grandma

October 14, 2010
4:30pm

I just got home from visiting my grandma in the hospital and there were a couple things that really stood out to me.
First of all, she was very adamant on having a female nurse. She made it very clear to every man that came in that he was not to help her out of bed or use the bed pan because she did not want a man looking at her that way because she was uncomfortable. I thought this was very interesting. IN this day and age, male nurses are much more common yet I feel that women like my grandma make it hard for men to enter feminine jobs such as nursing. I know that the reason she wanted a female nurse is because it makes her uncomfortable having a man in her private areas, but still, it made me think about how hard it is to be a male nurse.
Another topic we discussed was my 6 year old cousin. My grandma was telling me how my cousin, Ella, thought she was fat and would not wear shorts at all this summer. I was disgusted that this innocent little six year old would get a horrible idea in her head like that. She is healthy and in no way overweight. She has two older brothers that tease her, but they would never be down right mean. Apparently my aunt had to have a serious conversation with her about body image. My aunt is a really great person and I know she knew what she was doing, but I am upset that she even had to have that conversation. Part of being six is feeling safe and comfortable with who you are, and anyone who takes that away is not ok with me.

Hernias are for men

October 12, 2010
5:20pm

I recently found out a friend of mine has a hernia. After talking and joking about Joey from Friends also having a hernia, I realized that I actually was pretty curious about what it was like. The idea is that the abdominal wall tears causing the intestines to push against the skin. I realized that women could probably get them too and that they were not just a problem for men. When I asked him what he thought about this notion he said "well I guess women could get them but really, hernias are for men because we do the heavy lifting". I wanted to protest and say "yeah but I can do heavy lifting too" but then I realized, its nothing compared to what men lift. Men are biologically stronger and are more prone to get hernias, but the comment was really just something that kind of has been sticking with me for a few days now and I wanted to share it here.

Can I sit there?

October 4, 2010
3:20pm

I had a very interesting experience this past weekend regarding seating arrangement at a movie night with friends. First, a little background information: I just started dating Mike a few weeks ago and he invited me to a movie night at his house with a few friends and one of his roommates, Kevin. When everyone arrived, one guy, Lloyd claimed his seat on the middle of the couch. Kevin and his girlfriend were also on the couch and others were in chairs. Mike brought his computer chair into the room for more seating. At this point, there were enough seat for everyone, but because Lloyd was on the couch, there was only one spot next to him and the one spot in the chair. Mike and I were the only two left to sit and when people started to realize that we were not going to be able to sit next to each other, the guys immediately turned to Lloyd and told him he had to move. He was not happy about it, but after a moment, he moved to the chair and Mike and I sat on the couch.

There are a few interesting things going on here. First of all, I was never expected to sit in the chair. Second, even though Lloyd sat down first so he could get the best spot, he was expected to move for me and even though he did not want to move, he did not complain about it. I think it is interesting how even in a day and age where there is a push for equality, there still tends to be gentlemen like tendencies. For example, men hold doors open for women. In the same sense, men give up their seat for women. It was a small act, but to me it was very significant because not only was he expected to give up the seat he claimed ten minutes early, he was expected to do it because he is a man. This really made me experience some of the things Anthony often talks about in class. Gender expectations go both ways and sometimes men get the short end of the stick too.

"yes mam"

September 30, 2010
2:20pm

This past weekend I went to Camp Whispering Oaks in Julian to facilitate the challenge course for the Camp Pendleton Service Unit. I always find it interesting to work at encampments with all military dependent campers. The dynamic between the girls and the leaders is different and the entire way the encampment is run is different. Usually the military service units are very well organized and everything is very structured. It is obvious that come from military families because of the way they dress and the way they speak and run activities. One particular incident I want to share is when I was with the girls at the challenge course. The most outspoken one in the troop who served as their sort of leader was goofing off over and over. I asked her repeatedly to pay attention but after asking her too many times, I stopped what I was doing, put on a straight face and a stern voice and told her that she needed to stop goofing around and take this seriously because it is a potentially dangerous place and I did not want anyone getting hurt. She immediately stopped, looked me in the eye and said "yes mam". I think the organization of families is interesting in this case. If I was at any other service unit, the girl would probably look down and say something along the lines of "sorry" or "ok" but because this particular girl comes from a military family, she knew that when an adult gets serious, they mean business and her way of acknowledging that was looking in my eyes and saying "yes mam". I think this is an interesting perspective on family background and organization and how it makes children react.

Week Three

September 15, 2010 7:30pm

Even though we have not finished the film "Iron Jawed Angels" yet, I left class today feeling really inspired and empowered. I feel like I have a great deal to thank Alice Paul and Lucy Burns for. I decided to look up more about the history of the two women because I wanted to see how accurately they were portrayed in the film and I was surprised by two things. One, both women are highly educated, more so than I thought. And two, the movie told the story of these women and the NWP with incredible accuracy.

One thing that I really noticed while watching the film is the symbolism of the hat. The hat was one of the first images on the screen and it was an argument between the two women who would get it. Lucy got it at first, but ultimately it went to Alice. It became Alice's favorite hat, something that she always wore in public. It became the distinction between when she was working and wearing that "political" persona and when she was not wearing the hat at home, relaxing, or by herself. It is interesting because Ben kept saying he wanted her to take the hat off. Once she finally did, she let him into her world. She spent the day with him, seemingly enjoying herself, but as he tried to kiss her, she realized that this was not something she could do. She later made a statement to Lucy about needing to be alone because you did not have to answer to anyone when you were alone. The next time she saw Ben, she was not wearing the hat, and he said "I liked you better with the hat on". This exemplifies the fact that Ben supports her beliefs and ambitions about suffrage. Her hat is lost and she is scattered to find it, again, exemplifying that she needs it to go out because of its symbolism of being "her" hat, the one she is always wearing. I think the hat makes just as much of a journey in this film as Alice does and I am curious to see where it ends up.

Week Two

September 10, 2010; 12:12 pm

Reflecting back on our second week of class, the one thing that sticks out most in my mind is Anthony's story about being the "token male". My experience in the field of communication has always been that it is female dominated. As an undergrad, there were always far more females in the class than males and even thinking about ethnography, Chris was the only male. It is interesting because Chris did not become the "token male" the way Anthony has. This fact is somewhat obvious to be truth because this is a class about gender. I find that men join gender or women's studies classes for one of two reasons: to meet women or to start a ruckus. There is a difference in gender classes from women's studies in the fact that there are TWO genders: both male and female. Oftentimes, I feel that gender studies is perceived to be an all women's field full of man hating lesbians, which is something that Anthony brought up in his writing. I think that if the male gender was more equally represented in gender study classes, it would become less "man bashing" and provide more understanding and meaning. I think part of the problem is the perception men have of the topic of gender. It is sort of like a "which came first the chicken or the egg" type of problem, but I think until men feel comfortable in gender study courses, they will not be as rich as they could be if men were part of the discussion rather than just another topic to discuss.

Toughts on day one

September 1, 2010 8pm

I am really glad we watched Mad Men today in class. I read Entertainment Weekly cover to cover and keep up to date on the media because I hope to one day work in television. Man Men gets a lot of space in EW and is highly regarded by critics. I think it was interesting to read so much about this show, and then actually watch it through a gendered lens because there is very little mention about how stereotypical and sexist it is. Instead, the media writes about how it is a clever show, new idea, and praises Don Draper, but where is the love for the women?

In general, I love how this class is going to take advantage of media because it is defiantly one of my passions. I minored in Visual Arts: Film and Video when I was an undergrad and took all of my communication electives in the communication and media category. It is something that is of great interest to me and I am excited to see how the rest of the films will be unpacked through this class.